My Mind

So, on my blog with the generic name that wont be listed, I reblog quality photos to entertain the multitudes. On this blog, I will post anything I feel like. Mostly text posts, all pertaining to my mood at the absolute moment in which it is published. This is, above all, an experiment. Be ware, I may post my fanfictions, which may have an audience rating of M for mature. They also may be powerpuff girls fanfictions. Some of my posts may be little snippets of my day, and some could be in depth romance excerpts from the deep contoures of my awkward, mature-for-my-age mind. Read at your own expense.

Let’s Talk About Friends

Okay, so here’s the story. You meet someone, and you hit it off instantly. Not in a romantic sense, but in a personable sense. They’re funny, nice, smart…They’re an all around good person and you honestly are so excited to build a friendship with them. You tell each other everything, every little detail of your day, your dreams, your future goals. Eventually, you run out of room to store your feelings in the friendship spectrum, and, not even slightly by your own will, you begin to store your feelings in the romantic spectrum. Suddenly this new person has opened up in front of your eyes. This person you’re friends with, this person you can tell anything to, and suddenly you have feelings for them. It’s amazing, it’s breathtaking, it’s heart-stopping. They feel the same, and you share that first kiss, and wow is it something. You didn’t realize your heart could race so fast. You talk about your future, but now they’re in it. You picture yourself with them, because they mean that much to you. So much that you’re willing to risk losing it all just to be with them. And then it happens. Some small, tiny, jealous twinge when you notice them sharing their secrets with someone else. Those secrets that were yours to keep are now someone else’s as well. And you’re hurt. So hurt that you shut down. It’s awful, because now you have no one. You invested so much of yourself into someone who invested that much into someone else. So you confront them about it, and they get upset, and they wonder why you’re acting so strange and why it seems like things have changed. So you stop talking. You figure it’ll blow over, and things will be fine after you both cool off. But then you hear from some friends or maybe some gossip on a forum that they’re romantically involved with this other person, and you realize that your jealousy was as spot on as you first imagined. Of course it was. Because you recognized they way they made that someone else laugh, they way they shared their secrets and their dreams. You recognized it because that used to be you. And now you’re alone. Love sucks.

College

All my life, I’ve been preparing myself academically for the adventure that is going off to college. I always planned on going away and starting my new life fresh out of high school. Now that I’m older, however, I see that this isn’t exactly logical, so instead of attending university right away, I plan on going through community college for my prerequisite courses because I simply don’t have the money. I honestly hate this system. Why is it that someone who has worked hard their entire life is being held back because of money, or lack thereof I should say. Coming from someone whose lowest grade ever was a B minus—which was in algebra with an old bat who didn’t know the difference between Pythagoras and Python—this system is seriously messed up. There’s no way of me getting enough scholarships to put me through college realistically. Why is it that, all our lives, were taught to believe education is the most valuable resource just to grow up and realize it’s the most costly burden?

This is a fanfiction I wrote for the PPG & RRB fandom, and I decided I would post it here

Incompetence

Butch stared at his large-bellied, balding algebra teacher with a false expression of interest as he droned on and on about factoring trinomials. The teacher, Mr. Duncane, had an annoying nasal aspect to his voice, but it was also throaty in a way. To Butch, it was intolerable. That’s why he chose to listen to his iPod all class period every day while his peers, much like an annoying brunette to his right, fervently jotted down notes of his lesson. When it became time to work on their assignment, he just stared blankly at his open book.

Factor each expression:

1) Eight y cubed minus four y squared minus fifty y plus twenty-five

"What the fuck?” Butch whispered to himself. He looked around the class room and saw that everyone else were already well into numbers twelve or fifteen. The annoying brunette was on number twenty-two. He glanced back at his own paper.

Butch Jojo

1/8/13

4th hour

1) Eight y cubed minu

He never finished even writing the first equation, and everyone else were well on their way to completion. He wasn’t surprised. He wasn’t good at much anything unless you counted being a dick to just about everyone. He had a way to make even the most confident people feel like absolute shit about themselves, and he took pride in that. It was all he could claim as something he did best, so why shouldn’t he be proud of it? He didn’t have many friends because of it, but who cared? Although, that may have been the issue.

The annoying brunette stood from her desk triumphantly to turn her paper into Mr. Duncane, who offered her an approving smile in turn. When she returned to her desk, she had a smug atmosphere about her. It was probably because she was the first person in class to complete the assignment. Butch didn’t understand the repletion she felt, but sometimes he wished he could understand. He was much too lazy and uninterested to ever try harder than he had to.

Butch glanced at his wrists. They were covered in scars from the nights where he lay awake, thinking of his life and how useless it was. He had started small months ago; just a tiny slit across his vein when his counselor scolded his lack of motivation. That was when he realized how pointless he was. His depression grew deeper and deeper, and his cuts followed subsequently.

As terrifying as it was to him, he couldn’t find the energy to feel concerned. He knew he wasn’t going anywhere with his life. With even the best of luck, his greatest probability was living in a box and eating from trash cans. His family hated him, and they made it profoundly clear that he would be out on the streets as soon as he was a legal adult. That was that. Maybe he could sell drugs for a few hundred bucks here and there.

The bell finally rang for school to dismiss and Butch had talked himself down so far that he was dazed. He didn’t remember going home, locking himself in his room, or grabbing the gun he kept in his underwear drawer for safety. All he could brood over was that he wouldn’t be missed. The type of people that the world missed were ones like the annoying brunette that had a positive outlook on life. No one, he was sure, would shed a tear for the incompetent Butch Jojo. He slowly raised the gun to his head and placed his finger over the trigger.

My Fanfiction

Boyfriends suck.

Okay, so my boyfriend and I have been together for a year and three months and it doesn’t even see that way. When I say that, it’s not in the good way. See, we’ve been on a grand total of ONE date since we’ve been together. Other than that, we don’t do anything. We have a dance coming up (tomorrow) and he has yet to ask me. I have to buy my own ticket and we’re not going out to dinner after. Nothing. He said he had a surprise for me for later today, and he stopped texting me. I called a couple times and he didn’t answer. At this point, I was convinced that on his way to my house his bike swerved and he got hit by a car and died, so I texted his best friend and guess what? He’s with him right now! The little fucker blew me off for his friend. I know this is a pointless rant, but I just really needed a way to vent, so..sorry to anyone who reads this. Xoxo

Lord of the Flies

So in my Honors College Composition 2 class we’re reading Lord of the Flies and let me just say that it is one of the driest pieces of literature that I have ever read. maybe it’s a side effect of my adolescence, but I feel like it needs romance in some sense.

If you’re familliar with LOTF, then you know about the Ralph vs Jack tension. If you’re not properly attuned to the story, here it is in a nutshell: A bunch of boys are on a plane from England during the a war and they’re headed to America for refuge and the plane crashes. The boys, all under 13, are stranded on the island with no adult figures. They decide to elect a chief, and they decide on Ralph. Jack, who is cocky and annoying, gets pissed and eventually turns on everyone. He creates his own “tribe” and goes off with him and the boys that are a part of the choir he directs. They go wicked savage on the sane boys and try to kill Ralph. They almos killed him except someone came to rescue them just in time. Okay, so that’s LOTF, and although it seems to be an interesting story, the way it was constructed was poor.

Back to my point in this post, if Ralph and Jack had a secret sexual tension between them the it would have been SO MUCH BETTER. Could you imagine it?

Ralph was gathering fire wood when suddenly he felt eyes peering at him. He stood and turned towards the creepers where he saw Jack leaning against the tree. He had been watchin Ralph with a sort of jealous admiration. ‘Why can’t I be like him?’ Jack wondered.

"Hey," Ralph stammered, hoping Jack couldn’t see his blush. He rarely ever got nervous in front of others, but with Jack, it was different. He was so powerful and arrogant. He loved it.